Author: Ken Dunham

This may be a cultural way of saying they have political power, ego, or are not a team player, especially if it is heard often and does not resolve with common sense or what makes sense for the company. If you’re in a company where you hear this, it’s a cultural red flag!

Culture is hard to recognize, especially if you’ve been inside, accepting, and adapting to it for years. An outsider often is the one who joins the team, which brings it to the surface. This is why executive management is often hired and rotates through staff over 18 months, to cause transformation of culture, when it cannot be achieved from within.

Cultural change can occur from within, provided you are intentional, willing to persevere, and united with others over time to overcome current cultural acceptance. If someone has “different priorities” that are not right for the company, what are the company priorities, or what should they be, and how can others contribute to voicing what is right and challenging the status quo?

Simply accepting the answer of “different priorities” is unacceptable if the priority comes at the expense of what is truly best for the people and the company. Be careful to not have rose colored glasses and elevate your own interests and perceptions above others, for the sake of self! If you’re truly humbly approaching this subject and can see it clearly and have validation from others, there is likely a need for adjustment and a need to wisely confront the culture for intentional change for the better.

As a Patriot, I have greatly enjoyed the 2000 movie The Patriot, where Mel Gibson plays the role of Mark Baker, an American colonist swept into war. Baker teaches his sons to “Aim small-miss small” when learning how to shoot a Muzzleloader rifle.

Growing up in the countryside of Oregon, I had the opportunity of a shooting deck off the upstairs of our home into the backside of 25 acres where I shot thousands of rounds a year. I gained confidence and creativity! Soon, I found myself throwing pieces of glass into the air and then shooting them before they hit the ground. Then I shot down small trees. Then there were the small green army men – yes, army men!

In teaching my son to shoot long range, we set up targets from 100 to 500 yards in the late morning with winds varying from 10 to 20 mph during that morning. He had a new weapon, but it shot well for him. He was happily dropping lots of ammo into an area, excited to feel the power of his new weapon and to see how well it performed under fire. I, however, had a different goal. I wanted to drop a bullet hole inside of a bullet hole as I prepared for a long-range hunt later in the year. While he destroyed a boulder into smaller rocks, I shot two times, nearly touching at long range. We both achieved success in our goals.

Then came a new challenge, hitting a smaller object at range, a water bottle at 400 yards. I spotted that he dropped shots and attempted to adjust his shots, but success did not come for him. The old man in me would internally argue that his shooting style and methods set him up for this outcome. If he drops enough lead in the area, he’ll eventually get lucky, but he hasn’t been shooting for accuracy, based upon technique and precision, focused on the details for success. I chose to encourage him until he was ready to learn at a later time, this was not a time for correction.

Aim Small, Miss Small is a clear and focused mission and journey. You don’t get there easily, you earn it! You must be intentional at each step with your techniques and methods, building muscle memory and tactics to ensure success, so that when you are in a situation, you can aim small and hit the mark. I found this to be true when hunting for Whitetail deer a few years earlier. I was setting up scent sticks and hadn’t set up my blind yet, with a chair on my shoulder still, when deer started coming in inside a deep wooded forested area. The deer started running as I took the chair off my shoulder. I had one small window in which to make my shot, which I did when the buck crossed that window, hitting my mark, with a successful harvest. There wasn’t time to think, only to act, upon years of practice leading up to that moment.

As a cybersecurity leader, how are you intentionally aiming small and missing small? What are the tactics that you intentionally pursue for success and evangelize to those around you for a successful outcome? When disaster strikes and stress elevates, does your muscle memory kick in with success as a result of your intentional efforts day in and day out? Do you perform lessons learned with humility, continually learning towards improvement? Aim small, miss small!

It had been a long and busy day as an executive when I sat down to make a direct call to a hotel to book a night for upcoming travel. The gentleman who answered the phone asked if I could be placed on hold and had a quaking, almost nervous voice when asking me to do so. A few minutes later he rejoined the call and our discussion began, with quick frustration on my part.

This person should not be in charge of customer service or answering phones. He wasn’t efficient (which I noticed all too well in my worn-out state), lacked confidence in how he spoke, was seemingly unorganized, required repeating of information often, and was hard to work with over the phone. Emotionally I began to escalate while controlling my words and tone (mostly).

As a leader, I pride myself on emotional awareness in myself and others so that I can respond to challenging situations instead of reacting. Emotions are critical in our human experience but do not need to be what undermines our ability to communicate effectively when we are not at our best or having poor interaction with another person. I took responsibility for my tired state, likely being more easily agitated, and sought to then understand, “What is the person on the other end of the line likely dealing with; what are their challenges?”

It is a humble and selfless act, motivated by love and peace, when we consider others and lift them above ourselves. As a leader, this is essential for demonstrating how we treat others and lead by example.

Upon further reflection, I realized the individual on the phone was commonly switching the order of numbers and letters on his checking for understanding. In fact, severely – he was struggling with a severe case of dyslexia, reversing letters and numbers while trying to diligently capture all my required information for my hotel booking.

I then approached the individual differently, changed my tone, and stated gently when he was apologetic for yet another wrong checking for understanding interaction over the phone, “It’s ok I can tell you’re likely struggling with dyslexia.” I then changed how I shared information with this individual, such as spelling my name out letter by letter, going slowly, and then saying things like “Ken” for “Kilo”, to give him time to process, hear what was correct, as he was writing it down, helping him to be successful. All those years as a teacher, learning styles, and working with a wide variety of people, came in handy once again! The call went very smoothly from this point onwards.

When we completed the call the individual was extremely thankful for how I handled the situation, and yet still very apologetic too, because he knew he struggled at the job with his learning disability. With true empathy and love, I warmly thanked him for his hard work and doing a great job of booking and told him it was a pleasure working with him. We ended on a very high note.

TRUST was established on this call, because a connection was made, genuine, heartfelt, driven by humility and love and consideration of others. What if I had chosen to be reactive and selfish and all about me? I likely would have become demanding, angry, insulting, escalating, or worse. This would have violated trust, making things worse with less chance of a successful outcome (driving up anxiety and likely increasing learning disability challenges), and personalized a sense of failure to the man making the booking.

We all have lives and we never know the full story of the person on the other end of the line. Kindness, love, and humility in leadership, with thoughtfulness towards others, is always a good line to lead with as you seek to connect with others and make a difference in the world.